CARPE DIEM

the TV volume is too loud..where will i attend mass this afternoon..i learned a lot of lessons the past days and it brought me closer to the idea that there’s always a good one listening to me, listening to what i have to say..i slept more than 13hrs since yesterday, slept before 6pm and woke up few minutes after 8 in the morning..i just let someone harvest my crops in my farmtown (facebook)…ah, i can’t wait to taste the buko salad dimple and hazel made just a while ago..the shower, the shower, the shower is so annoying, kelan ba gagawin yan????, haays…i can hear nina singing a love song in ASAP, my room door is closed yet i can hear her sing thru the TV, tha’s how loud the volume is..i’ve been browsing on the net since i woke up this morning without anything in particular to search for…whoah! i can hear someone singing from the TV southborder’s song #### TAKE A LITTLE TIME BABY, SING A LITTLE SONG BABY…NA NA NA NA…##, haaayyys, i remember the old days…ah yeah, it’s sunday, really a day for mellows…why do people by the way want sunday as the perfect day for mellow songs?..why can’t we make it monday or tuesday ir any other day of the week aside from sunday?…haayyys, a lot of questions lingering in my mind right now…aahh, i can’t post bulletins today, it says i’ve exceeded the maximum posts in a day, maybe this is why i thought of just writing a blog…i know, it’s not organized, it doesn’ have a single topic..these are by the way first things coming out of my mind as i hit the keyboard…a lot going on, maybe because i’m bored? hmmm, got nothing to do? hmmm, it’s been a while since i wrote a blog? hmmm, i guess it’s just because life is really life is unpredictable, so we are, so are the things on my mind, all unpredictable..so are the people, unpredictable..so is GOD, unpredictable..coz if everythings goes the other way, predictable, then we can always make pre-arrangements of what should happen…..

(if there are grammar errors here, it’s just that i don’t want to edit it out, i just want to keep how spontaneous was i when i did this)

yeah, it’s all my fault..i made myself believe to something i shouldn’t..i assured myself of something i was not supposed to..my fault of letting myself fall again to the loop of miseries i have had before..the same old thing, the same old cases..yeah, my fault of not learning from my past..

but why do we have to go onto this? last night, i had a good conversation w/ a new found friend..we talked about life..we have so many things in common..part of me, i saw from her..when i headed home, i realized, sometimes, i have the best pieces of advise to others but i have the poor ones for myself..again, it’s all my fault, i had all the chance to check and balance but still im stuck to my old self, to my old hangs…damn, it’s all my fault!

now, i don’t know where im heading at..i don’t know which road do i take..but one thing is for sure, if i get into troubles w/ the own ghosts of my misery, it would still be MY FAULT!

i just love you….and it’s all my fault..

it’s been a while since the last time i felt the confusing feelings that im having right now..i can’t figure out how should i feel…i can’t figure out what i feel…i’m not sure why i am feeling this way..worst, i don’t exactly know what emotion this is..

i ask myself, what makes someone happy?  is there a room for someone to feel happy when he feels something’s missing in life’s puzzle pieces? i know for sure something’s missing in my life but i don’t exactly know what is it..

my life is a mess..i make decisions that turn out to be bad afterwards..i take turns that lead me to nowhere but complicated crossroads…

one time, one of my friends told me,im feeling this way, im living this kind of life because of illogical decisions..i was frozen,then i ask myself,WHO DECIDES WHAT LOGICAL IS? isn’t it LOVE?  if such, then why do i get into illogical decisions, i just love..  oh, well, i don’t know, im still confused…i guess, i need something that could help me get out of this confusion..

i punched out from the office at exactly 3pm and like what i used to do, i trail myself up to glorietta till i reach MRT..i usually ride the train home becuase it cuts a chunk of my travel time..today, i ceded myself at the last part of the train and stayed at the back leaning at the drivers door..when the train started to run after dropping off passengers at Shaw blvd, i noticed a guy in an off-white polo, black pants and a knapsack, seemingly perturbed and very uneasy (well, it’s actually the usual case in a not-so afternoon rush in the MRT..then suddenly, the guy started wiggling and collapsing..i was struck and glued on my feet, i didnt know what to do..i know pretty much that i heard the people shouting and grumbling to help the guy..i admit, though it’s a shame that i wasnt able to give a hand to the guy, who after some few minutes, i realized he was epileptic…when we reached Guadalupe station, the people started shouting to catch the attention of the guards but it took around a minute for the guard to come..two guys held out the guy’s both hands while the guard on the legs..the guy seemed to be lifeless..i was still glued in my place and i was looking for the guy outside which was laid on the floor..then i knees started to shake…i didnt know why, but it gave me a shiver…maybe because i wasnt able to give a hand…many things started running on my mind..stuffs like, it’s so hard to catch the attention of the guards on duty, why is that there’s no first aid kit or nurses ready in the MRT, and the worst, it came to my mind, what if i was the epileptic person…thanks GOD there are still good guys ready to give hands to people in need especially in emergency cases..and i guess i need to say this prayer, "Lord forgive me that i wasnt able to help the guy..i thank You that im more fortunate than the guy because im fit and i dont have such condition..Lord, for the blessings you prepare for me before the end of the day, i hope it wouldnt be too much to ask if you cut a little and give it to the epileptic guy becuase i know he needs more than i do..thank you God for using other people as an instrument for others.."

this is my first time to post, and what’s better to start it than to give you a thought of why my blog title is CARPE DIEM..

CARPE DIEM- seize the day; it’s an exhortation to life to the fullest, getting the most out of each individual day

that’s just it! it’s my very simple philosophy yet has a need for a redound - meaning you have to have an effect. and there are three ideas to have an effect to life: find your purpose, forget the past, face the present.

CARPE DIEM! ENJOY THE MOMENT! ENJOY LIFE! 

"Don’t take life so seriously, you can’t get out of it alive anyways!"